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Fortune Some fortunetellers read tea leaves, some use crystal balls, still others use cards. I, Crystal MacGill, read coffee clouds. Nothing has ever been straight forward in my life, so of course, I couldn't be just any ordinary fortuneteller, I have to be one of the few, maybe the only one, that can read coffee clouds. Three years ago I had an ordinary life. I was working as a receptionist for Jasper Enterprises, a small advertising firm. My friend, Jan, and I were on our coffee break and had stopped at a coffee stand on the first floor and purchased our "designer" coffee which had become our addiction. That's the first time it happened. We had just sat down at a table when I noticed the steam from Jan's coffee sort of stop in mid-air and start to form thin, wispy shapes in the air just above her paper cup. I squinted because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Or maybe it was because I forgot my glasses. Well, anyway... "Jan, what are those clouds above your cup?" Jan looked down at her cup, and then back at me. "What are you talking about? I don't see anything." I looked again, squinting harder. The shapes were very distinct for me to see. I pointed forcefully to the cup. "Right there, Jan. There are shapes there, right now, just hovering over your cup." Talk about a weird feeling. I got shivers up and down my spine, but I couldn't believe she couldn't see them. They were so vivid. "What do they look like?" By the look on her face I could tell she thought I had lost my mind, and that she was just humoring me. "Well," I said as I studied the shapes, "one looks like a ring and the other looks like the shape of a tiny man. He's on his knees." The clouds were beginning to disappear. "They're gone now," I said with relief as I sat back in my chair. Jan laughed. "You're a terrible tease. You know I've been waiting for over a year for Jerry to propose." I laughed with her as though it was just a joke. But it made me nervous. Maybe, I reasoned, I had just been hallucinating. After all, I had been up late the night before. Maybe I was just tired. Yeah, a good night's rest was what I needed. The next morning, as I was hanging up my coat, Jan raced over to me very excited. "How could you have known Jerry was going to propose to me last night," she squealed. "And look, he gave me this beautiful ring." Sparkling flashes caused me to blink several times as she wiggled her fingers before my face. "Did you talk to Jerry? Did he set you up to that cloud thing yesterday? Oh, I bet he did." "No," I shook my head slowly. "No, I really did see the clouds." What was going on with me? I shook off my feeling of doom and instead, smiled and reached forward to hug her. She had waited a long time for Jerry to propose. "I'm really happy for you, Jan. Show me that ring again." And so began my new career. How it came about, I really don't know. Needless to say, it was a while before I gave in and changed my career. But once word got around, it would have been foolish not to read the coffee clouds. Things really happened from the shapes I saw. It was so odd. Reading coffee clouds has led to a much more exciting life than being a receptionist. I've learned a few things over the years. First of all, to get really good clouds, you need good brewed caffinated coffee. It can't be decafe because the clouds are too faint to read. I laugh when someone asks if I can read from instant coffee. Not really, they just give off blank steam. Columbian coffee brings out a richly defined brown shape, that tend to want to momba around and won't hold still for reading. Now American coffee sends off a beige colored cloud that kind of laze about, but once read, disappear quickly. The client must take three small sips of the coffee. The saliva mixedd with the coffee is what forms the personal identity clouds for reading. I now use a special silver coffee pot at my readings and only very fine china coffee cups and saucers. I crush the beans and brew the coffee myself. None of that off-the-street stuff for my readings. And it makes a much better impression on my clients. It builds their trust, you know? They get value and quality for their hard-earned money. No sugar or cream. I find that it sort of dilutes the message so the shapes don't clearly form. The coffee is served at a round cherry wood table set up in my dining room covered with a gold embroidered tablecloth. Fully fringed, of course. One must remain with fortunetelling tradition to some degree. I don't advertise in the yellow pages, but do accept referrals from my clients. They certainly keep me busy. Some people really stress out when they don't know what's coming around the bend. Who would have ever thought that one day I, Crystal MacGill, would make my living reading coffee clouds. I guess a person just never knows what's in their future. Well, maybe that isn't quite right. But, anyway, please stop by one afternoon and we can enjoy a fresh cup of coffee and a chat. Do you ever wonder what your coffee says about you?